I'm sure if you asked Tiff she would tell you that she's been feeling awful. Although this is true and it's been a truly trying moment in our lives, it's also been an amazing 17 week journey. During these last four months our lives have changed and so has our relationship. It's not that we love each other more, but that we love each other differently.
It's been such a blessing and a gift to see Tiff change and grow. I'll sometimes catch her just sitting talking to the baby while holding her little bump and this changes everything. Suddenly, in those moments when its just us three, the text message, pending emails, etc can simply wait because it is as though time is suspended and we're complete. If this is how I feel now, I cant even imagine what it'll be once the baby is actually here.
During the first trimester I worried constantly, I worried that we would lose the baby and its a fear that I attribute to our loss. I couldn't stand to be alone with my thoughts because I didnt want to think it was possible. I have to say that entering the second trimester was reassuring, but the worrying didnt stop, it just lessened. I think this is why they say that you'll never stop worrying about your kids.
we've been blessed with an amazing gift and this we dont take for granted. I'm starting to picture myself as a father and I start to wonder what kind of father I'll be to our baby. I dont have to figure this out right now. for now I will settle for knowing that I will love and care for both Tiff and the baby in every way humanly possible.
Little baby, your mommy and I can't wait to hold you and see your little face and fill your life with love and imagination and encouragement!
I hope you like Disney because we got you a few things!
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